We are constantly comparing ourselves with each other. You’re not exempt, and neither am I.  We’ve been raised in a narcissistic, competitive culture.

Meanwhile each and every day I work with people who’ve been forced off their high horse. They’re in a losing position.  Some are literally fighting for their lives because . . .

their lives have gone into a tail spin, and they’ve landed in a ditch of shame. Addictions, DUIs, domestic violence, financial crisis, lost jobs, failed relationships.  And some won’t be climbing out of that ditch for quite a while, with some significant consequences paid when they were literally out of their minds.

And always there were secrets.  Many secrets.

And when they become sober and honest, they are often flooded with deep remorse and shame.

My encouragement is simple today. Do not underestimate the pain (or shame) of the person standing next to you today.

What heals pain and shame?


  • Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall.  Saint Patrick


  • Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.   Albert Einstein


  • Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.   Dalai Lama