I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot this week.

Last Monday the HBO documentary was released, If You’re Not In The Obit, Eat Breakfast”It featured Tony Bennett, Mel Brooks, Kirk Douglas, Irving Fields, Stan Harper, Norman Lear, Dick Van Dyke and Betty White, among others.  In the film, Carl Reiner asks the question: “What’s the secret to living into your 90s – and loving every minute of it?” 

If you’re aging (and we are), I highly recommend it – inspiring, uplifting, and filled with humor.  It makes aging less scary.

The end of this week I attended the Achieve Systems Explosion Conference.  (No, nothing actually exploded.)  It was a conference focusing on health and wellness business development.  I loved the energy of these professionals, and I learned a lot.  I was reminded of some important stuff.

I attended Shari Mitteco’s (of Women, Wine and Wellness) presentation on “How to Get in Bed with the Right People in Business and Avoid the Wrong Ones”.  Great title.  Excellent material.  Not about sleeping your way to success.

Rather, it was about examining who you hang with and how it impacts your business.

“You are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time”.  Jim Rohn  (Sorry, Jim – couldn’t help it – I had to correct your grammar.)

I realized that many of my friends, peers, and colleagues are not where I am in business.  They’re retired, or anticipating retirement.  They’re winding down their jobs, selling their business, cutting back to part-time, spending more time traveling or hanging with their grandkids.  There is a season for all things.

In contrast, the last thing I’m feeling is that I’m weary, in a rut, stuck, or winding down.  Certainly my energy is more conserved and my decisions are more measured.  I choose what’s important and where I’m investing my time.  That’s crucial, because I’m launching a new phase of my business – growing and expanding into new opportunities and projects.

It was sobering (and a bit sad) to realize that I’m at a new point, not only in my business, but I’m at a new point relationally, as well.

I began to be excited about the new relationships that will be coming into my life!

Here’s some guidelines Shari gave to us that I’d like to share with you.  As you are expanding your relationships – personally and professionally – consider the following questions?

  1. Looking at the five people you’re around most, what are their top qualities?  (Are these positive or negative?)
  2. Name 3-5 people you already know that possess the qualities you need to reach your goal(s).
  3. Name 3-5 people you don’t know personally (yet), but you know their work and that they possess the qualities you want to emulate.
  4. How can you allow more influence from them in your life?
  5. How will you gently and lovingly step away from the negative influences in your life?
  6. Remember, you are part of “The Five”.  What are your top three qualities?
  7. How can you be a more positive influence on the people with whom you spend time?
  8. Who has already reached the goal(s) you are working towards?
  9. How can you spend more time with them or absorb more of their influence?
  10. What types of media do you spend the most time watching, listening to, and reading?
  11. Do these help you, and are they a positive influence?
  12. What media sources can you plug into that would support your goal(s)?
  13. How will you add them into your life?

Final encouragements Shari gave to us:

  • Choose your top five people wisely.
  • Strategically choose what you watch, listen to, and absorb.
  • Bring the best of you to the table of your 5.
  • Give back!  Be someone that lifts the people around you – you are someone else’s “Five”.

Thanks, Shari!

And of course, if you’re feeling professionally or relationally stuck, please check out –