Let’s stop cursing the aging process.

This month is my birthday. (Gifts, cards, and parties are welcome!) I will turn 59. One year before 60. I’m apprehensive. Not sure what my 60’s will be like. I’ve heard from friends and family that the 60’s are great. That’s my hope. No crystal ball. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m not so frightened by the number change I’m anticipating TWO years from now. I’m more frightened that I will arrive at 60 (that’s TWO years from now, thank you – don’t be sending me happy 60th birthday cards this year!) having not accomplished what I wanted, not living the quality of life I desire, not having the vibrancy and freedom that I speak and counsel and teach about to others. Note: I’m on this journey like you.  Sharing what I know.   Not perfect, just on the journey.

There’s lot of stuff I was taught along the way; things I used to believe were true – of which I’m less sure of now. But there are six things I know for sure, from my over half a century life experience.

🙁 Sad fact: We cannot mature without aging. Yup, sorry.

We can slow aging; even reverse it, at a cellular level, with positive lifestyle changes. But we aren’t born mature. We’re born innocent and vulnerable. We’re born open and teachable. Life shapes us. We earn our badges along the way.

🙂 Happy fact: Maturation (aging) is powerful, because we bring decades of resources forward into our lives.

We learn from our experiences. We gain wisdom. We become more street smart. We have greater creative power, and we can create change more easily and effortlessly because of these resources.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t have blind spots or make mistakes or have regrets. We do, ’cause – you’ve heard me say it before – we’re all growing and all growing up, all of the time.

It does means we’re a little bit wiser than we thought we were in our 20’s and 30’s.

🙁 Sad fact: We bring unresolved pain, hurt, fear, loss, trauma, shame, guilt, anger, and disappointment forward.

If we don’t change destructive beliefs or unresolved conflicts, we will keep repeating them; resulting in undesirable outcomes. This can be discouraging and frustrating. Sometime we want to give up and say, “What the hell.” We forget that we create our hell by our own “poor results” choices.

🙂 Happy fact: Our instinctive intelligence is not programmed for failure; rather it is programmed for safety.

When we “get it” and take the steps to make desired changes happen, to alter harmful habits, and to re-format fear-based thinking and action patterns into living sustaining, instinctively intelligent thinking and action patterns – which we can do at any time along the way – hurray! – we are strengthened, empowered and enriched.  We choose to be set free.  We choose to be happy.  We choose to feel good about ourselves.  Our innate abilities totally support our health and happiness.

🙁 Sad fact: Life has brought some tough times that can leave us battered and weary.

One of my greatest fears is giving up hope. I never want to become brittle, cynical, or disillusioned by the tough, unanswered questions or the unfairness of life. I sometimes see it in some of my elders and my peers.  It makes me shudder. It makes me sad to see brilliant, creative, articulate people, with great hearts, who’ve lost their way and are disappointed in life.

Our ideals, values, and beliefs, are challenged in the crucible of life. Those of us who’ve been here a few years have known great joy, and we’ve also known deep sorrow. If we’re honest with ourselves, hopes have been dashed, dreams didn’t come true, prayers weren’t answered, people betrayed us, precious treasures were stolen, life hasn’t always been fair, and every wrong hasn’t been righted. Sometimes life sucks.

🙂 Happy fact: We may not always choose what happens to us, yet we do choose how we show up.

  • We choose our recovery in/from life’s difficult experiences.
  • We choose to care for ourselves when others do not.
  • We choose to be honorable when others do not.
  • We choose to respect ourselves when others do not.
  • We choose to trust our love-based instincts.
  • We honor the heart of our brain and the brain of our heart.
  • We set boundaries.
  • We choose the higher road (not as saints and martyrs, but as vulnerable, flexible, street-smart, resilient human beings who know the lower road is darker and more miserable).
  • We choose to be grateful.
  • We choose to open our hearts.
  • We choose when to say no and when to say yes.

Today I encourage you to say no to your frustration and yes to your true heart’s desires.

Choose to stop making excuses and holding yourself back.  Stop cursing the life process.  Never stop starting.  Celebrate each first step you’ve taken toward happiness and peace.  It’s never too late to change more, for change is the only constant certainty.