The other day I had a few minutes break in between sessions with clients. So I relaxed into reading Dr. Phil McGraw’s book, “Life Code”. It’s been around for awhile, and I was just curious about what he had to say.
I don’t always agree with Dr. Phil, and I certainly don’t always agree with his approach. But I want to share with you an excerpt from this book, because it is a well-written and concise statement about what I call “The Mission of Parenting.”
Don’t Cripple Your Children
“Protecting and nurturing your children and preparing them for the next level of their lives compel a new understanding of the responsibility of parenting. Everything your children will ever be, they are now becoming. You are raising adults, not children. You are writing on the blank slate of your children. Sure, they inherited a lot: maybe your skin color or the color of your eyes or your body type. But so much of what they will become is a function of what they learn, and so much of that is what they learn from you.
Your job is to prepare them to do well in this world when you’re no longer around to help them. If you always entertain your children when they’re bored, they’ll never learn to entertain themselves. If you comfort them every time they cry, they’ll never learn to self-soothe or take care of themselves. You have to teach your child to live without you.
This means that the best way to protect them is to teach them to protect themselves when you’re not around, since you won’t be there forever. . .
The goal of all your discipline is for your children to internalize your lessons and become self-disciplined . . . Your goal as a parent is to work yourself out of a job – to become a voice that lingers in their heads in your absence.
And the way to measure your worth and value as a parent is to ask yourself this: How well am I doing in teaching my children to value themselves, love themselves, have confidence in themselves, protect themselves, and do for themselves? . . .
Neuroscience now tells us that the brain does not reach maturity until around age 25; before then, your children’s neo-cortex hasn’t developed enough to enable adult reasoning. Teenagers can’t ‘see around corners,’ so it’s up to you to protect them from themselves and their instincts. You have to be the one to tell them not to burn bridges and foreclose options.”
Here is a set of skills you will want to use yourself and teach your children I guarantee you, that if you do not find this education beneficial to you and your family, I will refund your full investment. I’m serious. That’s how powerful this information is for you and your children. Click below:
Here’s some additional info you might find valuable:
And if I can help you, please don’t hesitate to contact me: