“Incongruent living is exhausting.” Brene’ Brown
We all have an idea about how we’d like to live ideally – how we’d like to show up – what quality of life we’d like to live.
We’re drawn to harmony. It soothes and uplifts us. It helps us live well. We crave the flow and the ease. It feels good.
We each have an internal template, based on our beliefs, that defines what we believe needs to be, for us to experience harmony.
We have an internal compass that directs us according to our values. When we make decisions contrary to this internal compass, we experience dissonance – that sense of things not quite matching up. We feel uncomfortable. We also know that we’re not being true to ourselves – to how we really want to live our lives. Though uncomfortable, this discordant state serves a valuable purpose. What we don’t realize is that . . .
Living in a state of conflict takes energy because we are literally fighting against ourselves.
Dissonance is a signal that something needs to be brought back into harmony. And this requires action. Maybe it’s time to find a new way to get more rest, eat healthier, or get off the couch and out to the park. Maybe it’s time to try a new hobby, plan a vacation, learn to meditate, or read a good book. Maybe it’s time to start a new project or find a new career or stop procrastinating . . . (you fill in the blank). Maybe it’s time to let go of an abusive relationship or develop a healthier social circle. Maybe it’s time to re-look at your financial portfolio.
Maybe it’s time to let go of self condemnation and inner dialogue that creates frustration, guilt, anxiety, shame or fear inside your head and keeps you locked in incongruent choices. Maybe it’s time to get some professional help.
Maybe it’s time to stop pretending. Maybe it’s time to consider what it would be like to be less preoccupied with what other people think about you and focus more on how you want to live your life today.
Consider that as you begin to really live congruently (in harmony) with yourself how this will affect your relationships with other people. You’ll have more energy. You’ll be less snarky. You’ll be less afraid. You’ll feel more confident and peaceful, because you know you’re being true to yourself – and deep inside, you know you’re not here to please other; you’ll know you’re here to live your highest potential.
Stop exhausting yourself in the incongruence. Take action. Choose harmony.